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There is no war on Christmas. Stop making up things to feel marginalized about. That is all.



Thanksgiving. What a bunch of nonsense.

Does anyone even know why this holiday started to begin with? Does anyone even care? Why did the pilgrims originally give thanks? Were they giving thanks to God for not being the exploited and enslaved tribes they were exploiting and enslaving? Who in current days would want to celebrate that anyway? Instead we have the warm-fuzzy version which we could probably all associate with a coloring book we scribbled in when we were 7 years old. You know, that peaceful day the pilgrims and Indians sat down and shared their plentiful harvest. Seriously, give me a break.

The idea of Thanksgiving is silly and so is the way we celebrate it. We have the obligation to sit down with family and consume outrageous and unnecessary amounts of food. Is this something to be proud of? Is this something that is close to God? Sounds like one of the seven deadly sins to me. Not to mention the guilt that comes with it. Guilt if you don't cook the turkey perfectly, guilt for eating too much, guilt for not inviting uncle Greg.

I have no desire to slave in the kitchen for hours to celebrate a faulty American dream which sits on pillars of sand and exists only through the exploitation of others. I have no desire to drop half a weeks paycheck either.

My idea of a good Thanksgiving - one that involves your closest friends, and everyone contributes to the meal like a potluck. Fuck turkey. No one stresses out for no reason and no one feels obligated to do anything they can't afford. Everyone should show their appreciation for each other on a regular basis - we shouldn't need a BS holiday that imposes guilt on us in order to get our money to remind us that there are things in life we should be thankful for.

I'm not thankful for Thanksgiving, but I'm thankful for certain people in my lives that I happen to see on Thanksgiving, as well as the ones I don't see.




Halloween was crazy. I drove 2 hours to see my best friend, went to a huge party, and was kicked out around 130 in the morning. Who kicks lady gaga out of parties? Anyway, the place was busted by the cops literally one minute after I left. Serves them right for being terrible hosts.

Here's my costume, as promised-

At least I know how I look as a blond now.

See those boots there? The one on the left foot pinched a nerve to my big toe, and a week later, I STILL don't have all of the feeling back in my toe. I never realized that boots...heals specifically...could cause so much damage. I even had to take a day off work because my doctor hoped that staying off of it would help feeling return to my foot. Well, it kind of helped...maybe. I'm not sure. Worst case scenario - feeling never completely returns to my toe, but I really don't think this will be the case. I'll just keep waiting.

Oct. 21st, 2010

I've decided to take on another project during this busy time. It's called The Sketchbook Project: 2011. I'm hoping it will help me focus my frustration and unease in a creative way. I picked the theme "...you'd be home by now" which I feel is perfect for a time when I don't feel at home in my own skin. I encourage you guys to check this out and get involved. The skecthbooks are due back in mid January, so you have a few months to do it. I plan on showing you guys my progress in the sketchbook before I send it off to be a part of this tour, which happens to be making a stop in my hometown - Portland, ME.

I already have some great ideas for my book, centered around the idea that "if home is where the heart is, where is my heart?" and follow me on a journey through my sketchbook to find it. I don't actually plan on drawing "hearts"...it will be more metephorical than that. I only hope that I will be successful in communicating my feelings and current life with the future readers.


He's not old, he's distinguished...

How much older than you is the oldest person you've ever been romantically involved with? Go.


What is the biggest age gap you've ever had between yourself and someone you've been romantically involved with, you being either the older party or the younger?

Once you kill a cow...

So I've lost another 2 pounds and I think it's finally safe to say that I'm officially at my high school weight again. Now time to work on the problem areas. My goal is another 5 pounds by halloween so I will be able to rock my costume so that people might actually confuse me for Lady Gaga. But in all honesty I would probably have to lose another 20 to be down to Lady Gaga's size. She's tiny.

Yes, I'm dressing as her for halloween. It's not as lame as it sounds. I'm technically dressing as her Telephone video.

I've picked parts of her costumes from this video to put together as one outrageous Lady-Gaga-mind-fuck-outfit.

I have already made/purchased/found in my closet:

  • black and white stripped top
  • cigarette sunglasses
  • blonde wig
  • fake long eyelashes
  • fishnets
  • white nail polish
  • telephone cord
Stuff I need to make/purchase:
  • long silver boots
  • american flag skirt
  • caution crime scene tape
  • finger gloves
  • studded bra
Any other suggestions? I want to put soda cans in my wig hair and die the tips of it bright yellow, but I don't know how wig hair will take to that. Anyone have experience with doing weird shit to wigs?

If this survey was put out by say, the Secular Coalition for America instead of the The Pew Research Center, I would be more skeptical. I feel this way because it seems one of the unfortunate goals of many atheist/agnostics is to prove to everyone else how much smarter we are. However, considering this was a survey done by the Pew Research Center, we can remove that agenda from possibly skewing the results. Seeing Jews and Mormons score almost identically to agnostics/atheists, this is more of a statement about the average less educated christian than it is about the more educated atheist. I wonder how muslims would score...

The synical side of me would like to partially claim that many of the atheists/agnostics used to be some kind of christian, and then once they became more educated about religion, they became turned off and found themselves becoming atheists/agnostics. At the very least, this very scenario perfectly applies to my situation. The education caused me to stop considering myself Christian. This might have something to do with it these results, but it doesn't explain anything about why Jews and Mormons score almost equally as high.

Are Jews and Mormons encouraged to learn more about their religion as well as other religions? Every Jewish and Mormon person I know seems to be very knowledgable about their scriptures.

Are Christians discouraged to learn about their religion and others? Perhaps...

Maybe some confounding variables are influencing these results. I notice Hispanic Catholic and Black Protestant scored significantly lower than everyone else on the survey. This might have something more to do with how lower income correlates with level of overall education. Seeing these minorities are among the lowest in socioeconomic status here in the states, they might not have the same means as the wealthier Jewish, Secular, and Mormon sects to learn about many educational pursuits, including religion.




Where are you, little monsters?

Soo all of you are the sorriest bunch of Lady Gaga fans I've ever seen in my life. I tell you I was 10 feet away from her at the DADT rally and you all are pretty much like "Pssht, I'm usually like...5 feet away from her like...everyday". Not one comment did I get. Disgraceful.

Anyway, since you were all obviously there and helped write the speech for her and everything, there is no need for me to post it on here. Doesn't matter anyway, the DADT repeal failed regardless of Lady Gaga's attempt to pump us up to talk to our senators.

Ahh, wht the hell. Here's her speech anyway:

Gay for Gaga

Did you hear, did you hear?!

Yeah. I was there. In front.

I waited for 3 hours to see her for 20 minutes but oh man, it was worth it.

My cousin took this picture of me, standing in the front for a crowd of 2,000. When she finally arrived, she had a powerful speech. You could tell she really cares about this issue.

Do you think it would have been inappropriate for her to bust into Bad Romance after the rally? Probably...but I still secretly wanted her to.


Letters I wish I could send.

Dear School year,

Over the past summer I have been doing this "getting skinny" thing, and I've really made a lot of progress. Walking miles a day and cutting my portions has really done the trick. However, School Year, I know how you work. You make me sit hours in front of my computer typing essay after essay, reading article after article. This discourages exercise and encourages eating 4 poptarts followed by a bag inappropriately named "smartfood" followed by all-you-can-eat buffets in the cafe. Well school year, I'm onto you. I won't let you do this to me this year. Not again.

Dear Biddeford Wench Lady,

I know you think you are clever when you prance around mocking how I walk when I approach your street with your welfare check and scream things like "Pick up the pace!" and "I could be halfway to the bank right now" but I'm failing to see the humor. The more you stomp your feet like a bratty 5 year old and tap your invisible wristwatch, the more likely I am to slow down and take my sweet time. I've met some rude people but never like you. I'm not even late delivering your mail, and even if I was, you'd STILL get it way before noon seeing you are close to the beginning of my route. I'd like to see you, Biddeford Wench lady, do my job for a day, and then we will see who's late. My advice to you: don't bite the hand that feeds.

Dear Comparative Criminology Professor,

I think You are a totally cool person and everything, but if you want us to read a chapter in an obscure book you wrote years ago by tomorrow, It's probably best that you assign the book before class starts. I don't know where I can find this thing at suck short notice. There might be one copy in the library, but one copy split between 30 people? If I order it online, it won't be here before tomorrow. You did this to us last semester too. You could have at least put the chapter on e-reserves for us. I have enough stuff to worry about without having to run around looking for this book for that one chapter.